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> Biographies > Erma Bombeck
Posted 11 months, 1 week ago
I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how l…
Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If yo…
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their car…
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.
Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that ou…
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out unt…
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white?…
Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat me…
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere forma…
Never have more children than you have car windows.
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for…
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children…
I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, a…
Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You'…
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptat…
Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw …
Never order food in excess of your body weight.
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be …
Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary stre…
Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is a…
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